A (Slightly) Antagonistic Letter
Dear Blog Reader Peeps,
It has been brought to my attention that this blog has become rhetorical in nature.
(n.) speech or discourse that pretends to significance but lacks true meaning
It was a genuine observation, and I suspect meant to alert me to the alienation readers might be feeling from the theoretical ranting that has replaced the heartfelt stories from last year. I agree that this observation of my blog holds some weight- and therefore painful to admit.
I have watched some readers come and some readers fall away. That is alright with me. When you read this blog, if it resounds with you- it has as much to do with who you are, and the experiences that have shaped you as such… than it has to do with the content I write.
If people preferred reading stories about kiddos, but not ramblings on theory, than I expect they will stop reading. Similarly, I expect people who like theory will start to take an interest.
That being said, since the aforementioned commentary, I have felt paralyzed to write anything for fear of alienating some imaginary reader. I have attempted to start no less than a dozen posts in the past weeks, and each time become inundated by fear:
Is this too rhetorical? Will people think I’m pompous?
So let me answer in a straightforward manner– Yes. This blog is bombastic, sonorous and verbose. Yes, I used a thesaurus for that sentence. I’m in a place in my life, where this is the kind of stuff that comes out of me when I write.
After all, you are not reading the New York Times… you are reading a personal blog. As I change– it changes. As it changes— the readers change. This I embrace, and with this acknowledgement, I continue to write the only way I know how…
In the way that I feel at that moment.
If this post seems antagonistic, it is because I am frustrated by writer’s bock. It is raw. It is real. Please accept my apologies if you feel this post was a waste of your time. I truly value when people take precious moments of their life to visit this blog. Yet in the end, this blog belongs to a real person. At times I will sound like a jerk. At times I will not make sense. At times I will be wrong. That’s the beauty of a blog. It hasn’t been choreographed for ease in processing.
I’m taking a chance at sounding awkward, at sounding silly, at sounding immature– to breathe life into my creative space, and clear out the stuff paralyzing me from writing.
Let it be known that this blog is chock full of rhetoric. And while associating such a negative term with my blog is embarrassing– it is true to the place I’m at in my life.