Burning the Brazen
by beccaborrelli
My Crazy Wild River Was in Fire. Denis Collette. 2008
“Why do you do that with your eyes?” says J.
I’m startled. I have a nervous habit of fluttering my eyes, and students always ask why I do it.
“It’s nervous habit,” I say.
“Why are you nervous? I haven’t seen you twist your hair in awhile. I bet now you’re fluttering your eyes instead!” he says with a mischievous grin.
Minis have a hard time comprehending “social niceties.” Even though I’m not used to it, I appreciate it.
Admittedly J makes me nervous. He reads people far better than any other 8 year old I’ve ever met. Sometimes I think he reads me better than most adults- which throws the teacher/student role on it’s side.
J is also a special needs student. He is labeled special needs because he struggles with language comprehension. His peers who have far fewer social recognition skills, will never feel the stigma of being labeled “interpersonally deficient.” If Howard Gardner is correct in his contention about multiple intelligences– J is “Interpersonally gifted.” But data driven instruction doesn’t measure person to person intelligence.
“My contention is that every child has gifts… and we are squandering them. Pretty ruthlessly.” — Sir Ken Robinson
When I read Multiple Intelligences, I am struck by public ed’s glaring inability to teach to the whole child. Gardner points out that public ed comprehensively teaches to only two of eight intelligences. It strikes me that teaching to the whole child could not possible occur 8 hours a day for 180 days. By a few select people. In a building. With RTI interventions, and risk assessments.
I wonder, what is the point of formal, institution style education? I find no satisfactory answer to this question. And like many times before… my brain arrives at the same conclusion.
Throw it all out. Start over.
I remember the world is far too intricate and interconnected to make such brash moves. Pulling an apple out of the bottom of the cart makes everything roll every which way.
***
Oil spilling into the Gulf of Mexico flashes on the locker room flat screen this morning as I get ready for school. I hear Meredith interviewing a spokesperson for BP. As oil creeps closer to the mouth of the Mississippi river, we are realizing just how bad this could get. It always seems catastrophe begets brash, positive change. The yin and the yang baby.
***
I haven’t written in over a month. I wish I could say the reason… but I’m not entirely sure if it isn’t just that I don’t have much to say. It seems lately that all of the questions in my heart melt into a peaceful puddle. The Brazen seems as outdated as the oil crisis.
When a forest becomes overgrown, it catches on fire. It burns and in the ashes new seeds take root. The forest does not need to struggle, it does not need to cry and pound it’s fists or construct new and more efficient systems to deal with it’s overgrowth. One day it just burns. The system is eloquent and perfect without outside intervention.
I’m hoping one day the public ed system burns. I’m hoping something fresh can grow. I wonder if our technology puts out the good fires- and some bad stuff has grown far too big. This is what happens when I don’t write for month. A philosophical rambling about 8 year olds and forests. I’m not sure what to write on a blog about a brazen teacher who isn’t brazen anymore. Maybe it’s time to burn her too.
This Brazen Teacher 
what’s going on up in here? you’re not calling it quits are you? i hope not. you’ve still got your brazen. shit. we’re all so tired. tired of the data driven clusterf*ck that education has become. the system is most surely broken. but we stay for the kids. we believe in the kids. take as much time as you need between posts. keep teaching. keep writing. we all benefit. – amy
thank you dear 🙂
I’m not calling it quits. Although I’m certainly watching myself closely these days and wondering (with excitement I might add) where I’ll be going next.
Welcome back, we missed you! 🙂
I think periods of unbrazenness are a quintessential part of brazenness. Wouldn’t you completely “burn” if you perpetually sustained such a high level of passion and outrage? You’ve shown many, many, many, many sides to yourself on this blog over the years, and somehow each one is relatable, fascinating, and likeable. I look forward to seeing even more.
Wouldn’t you completely “burn” if you perpetually sustained such a high level of passion and outrage?
YES.
I have wondered if this isn’t just another cycle of understanding in my life. Thank you for your words. Over the past few years I have learned a great deal from your blog, as well as when you visit mine.
LOVE your philosophy! And I wish people like you were in charge of public education. Maybe you should set your sights on Arne’s job when it’s time for a new challenge ; ) no really, please!
Do you think it’s possible to make change happen from the bottom up—grassroots? When I get discouraged, I feel like that’s impossible, and I hate feeling so powerless!!
The system needs some brazen-ness to shake it up . . .
I think society would agree that we want happy, self-actualized, forward thinking, creative, responsible, intelligent children. Trying to get that with our current system is like trying to get to Chicago with a map of Europe.
Political leaders get a bum rap. They really want to make things better, but are trying to get us to Chicago by “fixing the map of Europe.” You couldn’t pay me enough to do a job that is futile from the beginning.
I think some leaders know we have the wrong map… but when so many power interests are invested in the map of Europe… getting a new map is nearly impossible.
Not only do I think grassroots is possible, but I think it’s how all major paradigm shifts begin. Either that or a catastrophe sparks one.
At a grassroots level, there are far fewer power interests to contest with. I dunno… just rambling off the cuff. But you inspired me to think about this Bonnie 🙂
I think society would agree that we want happy, self-actualized, forward thinking, creative, responsible, intelligent children.
Ah, cute–
You’re not feeling burnt out are you? 🙂
(Missed your posts!)
THANKS Kelly. YES… I think I am feeling burnt out.
I think, in terms of blogging identity, you go through an “I hate my name” phase. It’s easy to reinvent yourself. I just tried out “Education Rethink” and then “Indie Teacher” and then “Teaching Unmasked.” Finally, though, “Musings from a Not-So-Master Teacher” fit best. It’s who I am – a guy on a journey, lost in some sense, meandering. Not-so-master was like a welcome mat for me beckoning me to be humble.
I’m not sure what you should blog about. I don’t know if topics really matter. Who you are, though, is brazen. Perhaps not in a fist throwing, protesting, in your face way. But in your humility, in your peace, in your refusal to be a “here are seven cures for education” kind of way. Your willingness to humbly venture into paradox is more brazen than any of your former sloganeering.
So, stick with it. Tell stories. Give your thoughts. Ultimately, in any literature, it is the narrator that people like. Stories are great, but it is the characters we are drawn to. People have missed you, not for your deep insights, but for you.
Don’t pull a Salinger on us. The edublog world needs your insights.
Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
John,
I understand why hard solid thinking is so rarely done. It’s exhausting to delve into the thick of things. How do you blog each day? I find it’s hard once a week anymore. Writing is a painstaking process for me… I think a lot and delete and reword. One post can take hours.
Many times I get finished writing a post and I have more questions than I did before I started. I feel heavier, and more confused. The artsy, moody side of me comes out.
I’m getting burned out on thinking. I’ve been doing a lot of running and biking. Picking up serving shifts and immersing myself in chores at home… because the thinking tires me out. This past month I have felt very peaceful and content. I woke up the morning after this post with a far too familiar cloud over my head. What is up with that??
I love reading blogs and communicating with like minded people… I don’t want to stop. But having a hard time finding balance. Not sure what to do… It seems like I’m compelled to think about things I have little control over… and then feel powerless and depressed. Kind of a bad combo…
Brazen, I’m kind glad to hear that it takes you hours sometimes to write a single post. I’m the same way. I work and re-work and re-work until either a) it feels right or b) I decide it’s just not worth the effort to spend anymore time on a single post and force myself to hit ‘publish’. As Seth Godin says, you’ve got to ‘ship’. I feel certain that writing a blog can’t be that way for everyone (obviously many people just write anything but I’m sure there are many genuinely good blogs that are written quickly).
John, with a full-time teaching job and a family, you MUST be one of the ones who writes quickly and writes well the first time. No? How long does it take you to write the average post? How do you stop yourself from laboring endlessly over it?
I feel like we might have discussed this briefly before, but I’m not sure I asked those questions outright.
@Angela
I don’t edit. I rarely re-read. If I do, I’ll over-analyze it. If I want to publish something and seriously give it some thought, it will be in a book format. (Even then, my books are plagued with grammatical mistakes)
I usually blog from 4:30-4:45 in the morning. It takes about fifteen minutes to write a blog from start to finish. Sometimes (like the current blog I’m writing ditchthatword.blogspot.com) it’s closer to five minutes.
For me, writing is something I have to do. If I don’t, I get antsy and restless. When I was younger, I wrote in journals. Now I blog. In both cases, there was a sense that writing was something that had to be done – like eating or drinking. It’s just never been an option.
So John, are you one of those people that is annoying good at everything? I think you are
😉
Get your butt outside. A lot. And don’t worry about us–we’ll suck your innards dry given half a chance. We love your words–you cannot imagine the li’l jolt of goodness I felt when i saw you had written a post.
But that’s no reason to write.
Write when you’re ready, if ever.
We’ll love you to death==
Doyle,
“you cannot imagine the li’l jolt of goodness I felt when i saw you had written a post.”
That comment is “my lil jolt of happiness.”
I plan on taking your advice. Seventy degrees and sunny has descended on Ohio, and everything is finally green 🙂
“”The right art’, cried the Master, ‘is purposeless, aimless! The more obstinately you try to learn how to shoot the arrow for the sake of hitting the goal, the less you will succeed in the one and the further the other will recede. What stands in your way is that you have too much wilful will. You think that what you do not do yourself does not happen.’”
I have greatly appreciated reading your responses to my blog. I wish I had more time to properly address them. When I return in a few days I would love to read your blog and respond. Something in how you write… reminds me of me… in a “not-me-kind-of-way” 🙂
Brazen – I put a plea out there to make you feel better – check this out:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mrs-Loves-Blog-0-Rama/220265277797
We all feel that way. Sometimes the fires that make us passionate singe our fur, too.
You know, I feel you here. I get tired of my schtick after a while, and will either stop posting or post something “out of character” just to change it up.
But I’ve been enjoying and admiring your voice here for a while and wish you the best of luck as you recharge.
As someone who works mostly with the kids whose needs are special-er than the average, I am making my peace with the standards–that which is measured improves…but not everything needs to be measured *or* improved. Right now, what needs to be improved is the spamblockers at my school b/c I need my brazen fix at 7:00 AM, before I open the planbook and start the day! Glad you’re back. Burn brightly!
I’m reading “Weapons of Mass Instruction” by John Taylor Gatto at the moment, which essentially argues that public compulsory education doesn’t work…something tells me you might get something out of it.
I think change will come to the public education system soon. It won’t come from a massive upheaval of the old system though. It will be a gradual change, brought about by teachers such as yourself who care about their subject and their students and who refuse to maintain the status quo.
Of course, some things need to change at the societal level, like the disparity in income levels and some things need to change at the administration level, like standardized testing, but there’s not much you can do about that…
Today I re-read a comment you posted on my blog about how public schools are moving away from the industrial model of education and focusing on creativity and freedom. Maybe you just need to get in a situation where you have the freedom to bust out some creativity. If you don’t have that freedom, well, what they don’t know can’t hurt ’em, right?
I see new screen names 🙂 Yippee!
TTTR: “Maybe you just need to get in a situation where you have the freedom to bust out some creativity. ”
You are the third person this month to tell me that. OK, OK universe… I get it. 🙂 Time to prioritize some creative expression of my own. Thanks all.
thanks for re-emerging with
a characteristically thoughtful
and thought-provoking post
(to say nothing of a lively
comments thread).
looks like we’ve been kicking around
lots of similar thoughts. again.
solving the world’s problems?
well, sometimes it’s philosophy
(a two-edged deal for sure but
not without its consolations)…
but mostly it’s *politics*:
one is expected to have positions
on (typically very-ill-defined)
“issues” in solving-world-problems
and to be ready to particpate
in mock conversations about it.
“run like hell” is my position on
stuff like this… or rather, it’s my
*stated* position (once “schools”
get into the thing, i typically jump
in with both feet and start swinging
like anybody else for example).
even “solving” one’s *own* problems,
as you’ve more than hinted here,
is generally done best by moving
around in the 3D world doing stuff
not by staring brutally at one’s own
emotional life and carefully laying it
out for all to see like a science project.
they also serve who actually…
you know… serve.
ditto gatto (writer recommended two comments up).
this illich guy
was also quite amazing.
Vlorbik:
“even “solving” one’s *own* problems,
as you’ve more than hinted here,
is generally done best by moving
around in the 3D world doing stuff
not by staring brutally at one’s own
emotional life and carefully laying it
out for all to see like a science project.”
This was worded perfectly. At least for my ears. I downloaded Illich’s ‘Deschooling Society’ last year. Great stuff.
Thought you might like Krishnamurti if you haven’t already read his stuff. Forgive my laziness in forgoing a hyperlink:
http://www.jkrishnamurti.org/krishnamurti-teachings/view-text.php?tid=1377&chid=1076&w=%22to+teach+the+young%22
Read my latest blog post and you’ll catch a glimpse of what I’m feeling about blogging. I’m not ready to quit, but I’m ready to change to a different phase. I’m wondering if there is a sense of that in your feelings as well. Perhaps you’re not burned out on writing so much as burned out on Brazen.
John,
You hit the nail on the head.
I have wondered in the past month:
“What do I want to accomplish here? If I’m trying to exhaust myself on things I can’t change, and talk about them with people who already know what I’m saying… well then I should keep on. Sometimes that feels good… but most times I know it’s only an illusion of doing something with my writing… not an actuality.
I keep hoping if I reflect on this teaching thing long enough, and keep listening to the rhythms of my life, I will eventually come up with something new to offer.
Brazen is very good at attaching personal tales to well-worn ideas, and rewriting them into something that pretends to be original. But she certainly can’t claim to be innovative. THAT’S what I want. The gratitude of offering something new to the table.
I appreciated your post. I hope your month off brings you some clarity. My own hiatus has helped me in ways I look forward to elaborating on soon.
Brazen is also good at talking a lot of sense in world where most people who believe they are talking sense are really only talking self.
Looking forward to reading the elaboration.
Not that there’s any rush. Obviously. I mean, lets face it – if people expected any sort of consistent output from me they’d be sorely disappointed. I’d love to write regularly – even once a week regularly – but… well… you know
Why thinking the ed system is broken? Maybe because I’m not a teacher I don’t get this. My oldest kid is in first grade.. When I think of her education, I think of the awesome teachers she’s had so far.. Very caring creative smart people doing their best. I don’t think of a ‘System’.. soo I’m confused.. please tell me more..
In terms of the oil spill.. i could throw up if i thought about it hard enough.. really really angry.. this def seems to me to be a broken ‘system’!!! silly greedy people killing the Earth.. and we all watch and are powerless to stop them.. infuriating!!!
Brazen, school is almost out for the summer… I think you should go on a long road trip to somewhere you’ve never been… and bring a tent.. do lots of camping 🙂 Hang in there…
I love these types of questions 🙂
Thank you for asking with a genuine interest. Often I speak to the “choir” and forget it’s not apparent to many what I’m raving about.
I referenced Howard Gardner in this post. He is a Harvard professor who conducted research distinguishing humans have 8 basic intelligences. Public Ed teaches to TWO of them full time (as in everyday). These two are verbal/linguistic and mathematical/logical. The other six intelligences (visual-spatial, physical-kinesthetic, musical, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and naturalist) are only taught weekly in elementary schools at best. Some are rarely if every touched upon… especially naturist and intrapersonal.)
To me (and probably most others) an institution that teaches to one quarter of child’s intelligence is going to produce students who are 3/4 untapped. There are other consequences as well, one of the most notable being that children who are brilliant interpersonally for example, (like the child in my post)- leave school feeling inadequate. No school is teaching subjects about how to connect with others on an intimate level. How to read behavior. How to speak in a way that will meet with another person’s sense of reason. We just assume that kids will “pick this up.” Many children would just “pick up” reading also. But why take that chance when so many wouldn’t? We would never take this chance with reading, yet we do with many, many other things.
This leads many children (and sadly adults) to believe that the other intelligences aren’t as important… and of course that is completely untrue. They are simply not important when molding a conforming, easy to train worker for industry. Creating a homogeneous group of people who follow authority, and can perform systematical tasks set forth to them in a factory was the primary goal of public education when it was created decades ago. This fact is not hidden, in fact you can find written proof of it. That is not to say that things aren’t changing! Teachers (like the ones you write about working with your child) are being educated in college programs to be creative and free thinking… and to produce creative and free thinking kids!
There is not doubt in my mind that your first grader is probably doing really creative learning activities, most of the younger grades do. But if they don’t pass the state tests in third grade onward, their school will lose money, even be penalized by state and federal governments. Therefore, schools will never have any real obligation to teach anything but memorization of test material. Have you ever seen these tests? All lingual/verbal and mathematical/logical fact memorization and/or hoop jumping. All forgotten in a few short years after graduation.
This is the teacher’s frustration with the system. They are educated in a progressive free thinking college environment to do one thing very well: create passion in students for learning! Then they arrive with all their ideas and the schools say- well that’s great- but you have to teach THIS. And in THIS WAY. And the ways that they prescribe for teachers are certainly good for ensuring they receive federal money. Not so good when creating passion in children for learning.
Some teachers quit. Some teachers give up. And yet still some fight the good fight- and those are the ones that reach students in spite of it all- which is pretty amazing considering what they are up against.
Will you read all this quibobble I just wrote? Haha! I don’t know. But even if you don’t you made me think about it, which I truly appreciate. THANK YOU.
I will have to look up Howard Gardner.. very interesting!! thank you..
I do see angst in faces of the tweens in my neighborhood..maybe a result of only learning ‘lingual/verbal and mathematical/logical fact memorization’ – yuck!! and that’s when peer pressure and fitting in and being cool seems to dominate their experience of life. They need Art (and the other mentioned intelligences), I’m sure of it. I wonder if this is when they learn to say ‘I can’t draw.. not even a stick figure’ aahhh.. feel such sorrow when i hear that.
How can I supplement what is not taught in public ed? i work, so don’t have much time during week.. but would love to take a look at some kind of handbook.. hmmm, Brazen.. ever thought of writing such a thing? thank you for your blog.. gets many folks thinking for sure. Jessi
kids can be so perceptive.
School today has become like a mass assembly plant. The world over we are losing diversity because of the 12 years of schooling we are putting all kids between 5 and 8 through. Thoughts, actions, are becoming so predictable and similar.
In all this a teacher who can encourage independent creative thought is so rare.
Brazen,
It’s the Ohio guy from Thailand (or maybe the Thailand guy from Ohio) again. Your voice is always welcome, and your brain is much appreciated by myself and many others…witness above…don’t give up…but, do relax…
Brazeness comes from being fired up and heated up and sometimes boiling up…but, it is always up.
Keep up the good work…you bring humanity and humility to the blogosphere (you know, now that I used it, I think I really don’t like that word.
Best of luck, stay away from Ohio tornadoes, enjoy your summer…
Andy – in Thailand
Andy,
Last day of school was this past Wednesday and I have been itching to write again. So much has happened that I’m not sure what to write about. Thank you for piping up. It’s nice to be reminded about the connections I have in the blogosphere. I miss writing very much.
Brazen in Ohio
[…] An opposite example would be a fourth grader named “J” who is a terrible writer and speller, his handwritten scrawl resembles a first grader… “J” will probably mix up ‘moot’ and ‘mute’ even when he grows into an adult. I have written about him before. […]